I Am Insufferable.

I should be cleaning my room.

Not-so-random Burst of Poetry

I stop
And I turn
And I see you again
In the mirrors of my mind
You take my hand
And lead me away
You have all of the
Answers
None of the
Questions
I fight and you wrap your arms around me
I cling to you and you begin to dissapear
I will struggle against you
In my struggle to
Keep you

My body, thrown into a
Pit of thorns
Lies
Rotting.
Worms nest in my empty skull
As my thoughts
Impale themselves
All around me.
As I watch,
Vultures
Tear
Open my chest
With their talons
And peck at my
Heart.
As I die,
I see a night sky above me
And the stars
Look down on me
Cold, impersonal, and
My tears taste like
Blood.

Random Burst of Poetry II...

Two Inches Tall

She is two
Inches tall.
She scurries
With the mice
Underfoot of
Grants.
Run
Hide
Breath
She carries
A hundred pound
Weight
A sack of rocks
On her shoulders
She falls, unable
To get up
And go on.
One day,
She will
Break the surface,
Awake and discover
It was all a nightmare.

Biblical

In the beginning,
I was sure.
They built it up,
And the walls came tumbling down.
I spoke in tongues.
To the air.
He smote.
I started to question.
That was then, He said,
To placate me.
Like a sheep, I followed Him.
Like an abusive lover, He struck out
Again.
I asked more questions
Was answered
By silence.
Figures.

Painless

The entire bottle of pills
What a sly, intrusive thought.
It doesn't stomp in
But slithers.
"It will be painless
Like falling asleep."
"You don't know that." I reply.
But it shakes its head,
Grinning
Like a slice of cantaloupe.
The juice runs down my chin
And slithers down my neck
I cringe at its touch.
It has me.
But I breath,
Put on my make-up,
Plaster on a smile,
And leave the pills in the bottle.

Random Burst of Poetry

Precious

The seed is sown
The plant begins
Planted, it becomes
More than itself
More than anything
It wants
To live
To grow
It will or won't
There is no middle ground
This time
God
Is dead
Or asleep
Or apathetic
Or, maybe, invisible
And still working
Baby steps, don't know
Always there, like
Training wheels
But you still fall
Still scrape your knee
And I clean the wound
And kiss your forehead.

Poetry

Poetry is life,
Only simplified and
More ambiguous.
Tell a story
Only you can hear.

Fore some reason,
Your medium speaks
To me
Flows through me
I am a lightning rod
For words in verse.

Now, as never before,
I understand.
I get it.
Finally.
I am born.

Be sulky.
It suits you.
It makes you feel like
You are more
Than you are.

Contemplation

He sits
On the steps,
Chewing his apple
In the rain.

Is it wrong?
To wonder about things?

His dog sits next to him,
On the steps,
Chewing her stick.
She wants to play.

What is it like to be old?
What do other people think about?

It was a hot day,
Before the rain,
And now the dog revels in it.
The man doesn't notice.

What is it like to be someone else?
What happens when a person dies?

He finishes his apple,
Gives the rest to the dog.
She gnaws happily
On the core.

How long is eternity?
Is something really ever universal?

Man and dog,
Two animals,
Sit on the steps,
Thinking.

Tage

Heute bin ich
Eine Ku, wer
Ist zu alt
Milch zu geben.
Gestern war ich
Ein Vogel, wer
Hatte zu viel
Fliegen.
Und morgan bin ich
Das Maus, wer
In die Eche ist
Und jetzt kommt
Die Katze Mich zu halten
Von weg gehen.

Unnamed Poem

Millions of possibilities died between
Us
And still
We held each other
Closer
Closer
And closer
As close as two people could be
One
Your eyes
Warm brown
A chocolate kiss
A puppy's fur
A slice of fresh baked banana bread
Promising
Things that have been lacking
Since I put down my Bible
My crucifix
And picked up the world
A mess of string
And tried
To untangle it

Thoughts

I know I should not be sad.

But I am.

Why can't I be normal?

Happy?

Realize how good my life is?



I feel badly

that I'm always sad,

because people have to put up with me

and my crazy

bouts of depression.



I need to stop depending on people.

And take control of my own happiness.

Why is it so hard?

Things that make me depressed:

1. Printed sheets, because they have a right way and a wrong way, and when you put them on the wrong way, they annoy you, but you're too lazy to strip your bed and do them again.
2. How your nose hurts when you cry lying in your bed.
3. How long it takes to make hard-boiled eggs.
4. How long it takes to cool hard-boiled eggs after you make them.
5. How you start eating stuff while making hard-boiled eggs, so by the time they're done, you aren't hungry anymore.
6. How food makes you fat.
7. How snow burns your feet when you go running bare footed in it.
8. Common sense that told you not to go running bare footed and in your night gown in the snow.
9. Common sense is always right.
10. How you always have to re-situate yourself while talking on the phone in bed.
11. How your arm ALWAYS falls asleep while talking on the phone in bed.
12. Sex
13. Society
14. Ineffective anti-depressants.
15. People who live to far away to give you hugs when you need them.
16. My father
17. My mother
18. My brother
19. My extended family
20. The holiday season
21. The fact church and state aren't separated.
22. Nice people die while mean ones always live for a long time.
23. The fact life isn't like a novel.
24. I won't be able to read all the books I want to in my life time.
25. The fact I'm too much of a coward to take the coward's way out.
26. College applications
27. Essays
28. The essays on college applications
29. School
30. Homework
31. The fact this is funny and you are laughing at it when I am feeling so depressed right now.