Music

I have been drowning myself in music lately to get my mind off things, so here are some of my new favorites:

St. Vincent (aka Annie Clark)

I really love her. She has a way of making music that is beautiful, yet also disgusting (her word). She is also one of the most gorgeous women ever. I wish I could look like her, but I don't think I could pull it off. I am addicted to Marrow and Actor Out of Work. Steven was the one who alerted me to her genius.

Here's an interview:



And here's Actor Out of Work:



I've also been listening to The Juliets a lot. They're really small, out of Michigan, I think. But I really like the sound. The Sequel is my favorite. I found out about them through Jason T. Lewis, another amazing musician and writer. I was fortunate enough to bask in his Certified Master of Fine Arts-dom for a couple weeks one summer. His album has just been released as well. http://sadironmusic.bandcamp.com/

Here's The Juliets' Drive You Home:



http://thejuliets.bandcamp.com/

I got their songs because they were free, but now I feel like I want to pay for them. Maybe I'll find some more I can buy once I get my credit card set up!

Poem for David

Fill the page
Draw out
The poison
Turn it into
The Antidote

Once, I was happy.
Once, I was whole,
Then I realized
I needed
More
To survive.
Being happy
Is not enough.

When Steven Cash Is Famous

I will walk around telling random people in the street that I knew of him before they did. And I will get a false feeling of entitlement from it.

I need to vent my angst.

The only way for me to survive is to write. I am convinced of this. Staring at a blank page is better than not staring at a blank page. I’m going to write until my brain pours out my ears. Heartache is a beautiful thing. I have to remember that. Always. Without it, I will most certainly give up and let myself fall into the abyss that is this world. I must stay afloat, at all costs. I must not disappoint myself.

Some Thoughts on the One True Religion

Choosing a religion to be the right one is like choosing to eat only your favorite food for the rest of your life. It damn well better be broccoli.

I always wonder why people decide to think in absolutes. Good and Evil, God and Satan, Black and White, Dead and Not Dead. Why can't there be things in between? Why can't more than one religion be the right religion? I mean, honestly, what kind of just and loving God would send three fourths of Creation to Hell because they don't read a certain interpretation of a book whose main message is "Be Good". Hell, ET could have told you that.

Back to the Broccoli Thing. Religion, in my mind (NOTE: THIS IS ONLY WHAT I BELIEVE. I AM NOT TOTING THIS AS THE TRUTH, NOR WILL I TRY TO MAKE YOU BELIEVE IT.), is comfort food. Salty soups, fattening cakes, and juicy red meat. The point of religion is to make life more bearable. Why else would almost every single human society ever invented have a religious doctrine to go with it? The human condition sucks. It's one way to deal with that fact (another way is hard drugs, but I won't go into that). Deciding only one religion is true and closing your mind to everything all the others have to offer is like eating only chicken noodle soup. You're not getting your vitamins. Aren't we here on earth to learn from each other? If we close our minds to all ideas but our own, how are we going to accomplish that?

God loves you. I promise. God loves gay people. After all, he made them that way. Don't say the Devil did, because the Devil is just another one of God's creations. My hypothesis is that the Devil was created because God got bored. After all, wouldn't an all powerful God be able to vanquish the Devil with a flick of His finger?

One more thing: What Is With the Capitalization? Does It Make Things Better or More Powerful to Capitalize Them?

That is All.

I Am Insufferable.

I should be cleaning my room.

Not-so-random Burst of Poetry

I stop
And I turn
And I see you again
In the mirrors of my mind
You take my hand
And lead me away
You have all of the
Answers
None of the
Questions
I fight and you wrap your arms around me
I cling to you and you begin to dissapear
I will struggle against you
In my struggle to
Keep you

My body, thrown into a
Pit of thorns
Lies
Rotting.
Worms nest in my empty skull
As my thoughts
Impale themselves
All around me.
As I watch,
Vultures
Tear
Open my chest
With their talons
And peck at my
Heart.
As I die,
I see a night sky above me
And the stars
Look down on me
Cold, impersonal, and
My tears taste like
Blood.